6 ?????? to choose a life partner

SIX QUESTIONS TO CHOOSE A LIFE PARTNER

I've long felt that choosing a life partner should be a subject that is thoroughly discussed sometime in high school and perhaps even in university. It amazes me that so little time, if any, is given to considering this topic on a meaningful level in school.
Near as I can tell, it's probably the single most important decision that all of us can make.
My take is that most people who get married in modern society don't have the foresight and life experience needed to make the best possible choice.
And why wouldn't we? Society teaches us that love is what matters. Love is the onlything that matters. And what is love? Isn't it that special feeling that occupies your thoracic cavity and makes you feel blissfully alive?
Well, here are some thoughts that I would like my loved ones to consider in choosing a life partner:

Do you like him?

To me, it's not about if you love him. It's if you actually like him.

The challenge is in knowing if what you are feeling is genuine like as opposed to fool's like, which I think is really just a symptom of being intoxicated with lust (which I don't have anything against - I just wouldn't recommend choosing a life partner with fool's like being a primary source of fuel to maintain a healthy relationship).
How do you know if you genuinely like and admire him? Ask yourself if you would want your child or future child to marry someone like him. And in answering this question, think about how he consistently behaves, not what he says.
As most of us know, feelings of "being in love" come and go. I wouldn't want to rely on such feelings to keep my life partnership healthy and intact. Much better, I think, to have a foundation of genuine like in place. Because ultimately, we want to spend our time with those we genuinely like.

Why do you like her?Having a trust, and taking good care of you are all weak reasons to like someone. They belong in the what she can do for me category, which includes the need-to-have-a-trophy-partner-by-my-side-so-that-I-feel-less-like-the-troll-that-lives-deep-within-me reason. Not a very solid foundation.
You admire the way she treats others, especially in instances when she is unaware that you are aware of what she is doing? She inspires you to strengthen your character? You respect her work ethic? Here and there, she blows you away with her thoughts? Now we're talking about some power fuel to sustain feelings of respect, genuine like, and even adoration for a lifetime.

Do you have the same basic attitudes and beliefs about religion?Specifically, do both of you have about the same tolerance level for other people's beliefs? If not, think carefully about how this might affect the way that you feel about raising your children together.
Speaking of children...

Do both of you have similar feelings on having or not having children? If both of you want to have children, do you have a good inkling of what type of parent your partner would make?
Are you relatively clear on how much time you would like to spend with parents, siblings, relatives, and friends on both sides of your family?If you're the type that would absolutely love having your parents in their golden years living next door or at least in the same town, I would suggest making this perfectly clear and asking your potentiawww.shaadimake.coml life partner to give this careful consideration and letting you know how it sits with him or her.
I imagine that very few life experiences can create more sorrow than not being able to spend time with your loved ones or, on the other side of the fence, being forced to spend time with people who make it clear through their behavior that they don't cherish you.

Do you have similar money values?What do both of you like to spend your money on? Do you spend the bulk of your money on things or experiences? How much do you spend on items and experiences that aren't essential to your survival? How much do you like to save?
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Those are the big ones for me. They're the issues that rise above the inevitable squabbles that accompany all life partnerships and float around in potential deal-breaker territory.
To be clear, if you just don't like who the other person is (not as obvious as you'd think or hope in the honeymoon phase), if you don't really laugh together, if you don't have the same basic attitudes about religion, having children, raising children, other family members, close friends, and money, you have one or more deal-breakers staring you in the face.
And people who genuinely care for you won't want to hear "but I love him." Because they'll be able to see what you can't see in the moment; that what you have isn't the kind of love that can sustain a healthy life partnership; it's something else that will probably make you want to punch yourself in the face a few times every day for the rest of your life beginning in the near future.
Okay, I'm getting carried away, but hopefully, my thoughts on this topic are clear. And for sure, they're just my thoughts, things that I hope my loved ones consider before they choose to get married, should they decide that marriage is for them.

       By Kavita raj

find a perfect life partner

how to know a girl before marriage

Be certain about your choice. The initial step in this process is a clear and unequivocal approach in searching for a girl, whether it’s by family search, internet basis, or friends/ relative suggestion. Everyone has different dreams and these should be the main focus, and then make other priorities

 Involve your family. Once you are ready to meet a girl, make sure you discuss the key points which your family wants considered. Also, your family should be involved in the conversation at some level, as the girl should be clear-minded about what you are both expecting and how much she can direct.

Dress sensibly. There is no need to dress in your best dress or try to dress in the latest fashion. Dress up one level from what you are already doing in your daily routine, so that more of your natural side is shown, and please don't try to be a swank.

Talk and listen. When on the first meeting, try to talk about your main goals, focus and expectations. Also try to watch for the girl's reaction, respect her preferences and likes, and have high regard for her achievements. This will make her feel comfortable, gratified and fulfilled by the meeting.

Get the number of meetings right. This is very important, as one should not exceed more than 5 meetings. More meetings will make things confusing; it is better to see the simpler side of her, which will make it easier for you.

Find a Perfect Life Partner

Tips To Create a Good Online Matrimony Profile/Biodata

• After filling in all forms and activation of registration try to add some unique features to your profile which will make Your Profile STAND out from others. Emphasise on something that can make it VERY SPECIAL and EYE-CATCHING.


• If you want to filter some category of people and thus not to waste time with reading messages from people you sure you won't be interested, use STOP-WORDS. For example if you don't wish to relocate, MENTION it in CAPITAL LETTERS! If your requirements are of specific age group, religion or hobbies (drinking, smoking, diet), again SPECIFY in BOLD AND CAPITAL. Don't waste your and their time!


• Try to understand emotional and psychological specifications of women (for men) - they generally are looking for romantic men who will care and protect them, who will make them to feel Very Special. While men in general seek a faithful mature lady who wish to be a supportive partner, attractive (who will beautify herself for her husband, look after one's shape and appearance, i.e. do everything to please husband's eye). And at the same time a lady who will be a wise companion and a good wife and possibly mother.


• Don't scare people off with writing too much about your family. Avoid to write about your mistakes in past, negativity and defects. The future will show who is who! However, don't lie and don't lead people on in a wrong direction. Meanwhile try to improve yourself and to live and act accordingly to your new criteria and standards.


• Avoid short abrupt answers which may misrepresent you.

• Avoid grammatical mistakes (by writing in hurry) unless English is your second language (in this case it will be understood).


• When you initiate a contact, don't write too much about yourself (I... I... my...) or too short (it might sounds rude and even silly).

• Don't ask for a photo from lady in a direct way. Usually it sounds rude and she may never reply. Be polite - kindly ask for pictures of her place where she lives and of her family. Generally, after such diplomatic ways she will appreciate your delicate manners and will be more open and will send you photos even without you asking.


• First letters are very crucial! Try to show your best, it will smooth your correspondence. First impressions are always of utmost importance. Smart quotes will enhance your letters, increase chances for acceptance and add value to your perceived wisdom.


• Always CORRECTLY spell the name of The Person whom you correspond with!. Remember Carnegie's golden words: "There is no sweeter sound in the world than the sound of your own name". The same apply to the letters, indeed.


• Be accurate with your replies, answer the questions to the best of your ability and in time! Remember to keep contact constantly. Otherwise he/she might lose interest and switch to somebody else (there are thousands profiles on the Internet!)


• Log in into your profile as often as possible. And if you have unlimited Internet access, leave that page open (just minimize it if you are busy with sometjhing else). Most members are looking for members who are online, so your chances to get noticed will increase hundreds times! If the chat messenger is available on that Matrimonial site (mostly offer free Chat), also keep it open. In your chat you can just leave your email and apologise that you can't chat at the moment (for example you are at work or using friend's computer etc.)


• Try to get instant messenger such as MSN or Yahoo. Nowadays even Google CHAT will be more advisable as it doesn't need any installation. Just register your free email at google.mail.com and ask your chosen one to register at google too. Then you two can chat anytime when you both are logged on to your emails.


• Be caring and wise - ask more about the family of the person, his/her parents, his/her children (if any). Ask about their names, lives, ages and their photos - you will be amazed how you will rise in the eye of the one with whom you are corresponding!


• E-cards, romantic SMS or full of wisdom quotes/short messages will increase your chances for success. There are plenty of free services with beautiful E-cards and free ideas for SMS /e-mails. You can e-mail us for more advices on this matter.


•  If not sure, NEVER reject. If you know somebody who might be interested in him/her, suggest it, but in a nice way, apologetically saying that it seems that you already found someone but you are very impressed with his/her profile and would like to recommend him/her to one of your friends/colleague etc.
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Matrimonial Biodata

Writing a matrimonial biodata has virtually become an art. This article shares some ideas about how to write a matrimonial biodata and provides you with a sample biodata.

Marriage is an important institution of society. Some people fall in love and decide to get married and in some societies, parents choose the right match for their kids. However, this trend is losing significance, as, even in an arranged marriage, people prefer to spend some time with each other, know each other well and then decide to marry. And nowadays, there is a third kind of marriage, that is online marriage, where the girl and boy meet online through various social networking sites and decide to get married if they like each other.

Today, there are various matrimonial sites which are specially designed for people who want to get married and are looking for the right match for themselves. Each matrimonial site has its own marriage biodata format and sample of various other designs, that can enhance your matrimonial biodata. These sites work like any other social networking site, but the only difference is that you require to upload your profile complete with a matrimonial biodata, which is similar to a marriage resume format, that includes all your personal information. This is necessary, as the other person needs to know your background in order to marry you. Here we give you a marriage biodata template followed by a marriage biodata sample. Read on.

Marriage Biodata

Marriage biodata template must include your personal information such as name, family background, education, age, height, weight, hobbies, habits, job description, place of birth complexion, disabilities(if any) and your horoscope details. In the Indian society, there are additional factors, such as Gotra, Kuldevata, Rashi, Nad, etc. and Patrika or Kundali is one of the essential attachments. You should also write about the family structure, like joint or nuclear and so on. Information about family members, such as names of parents, brothers and sisters and their qualification and job descriptions. You also need to provide your contact details. Along with all this information you must provide your photograph/s. On the online matrimonial sites you can provide as many photos as you want. But, it is advisable to put recent and natural photographs.

You must be wondering how to write matrimonial biodata. Here is a biodata sample, that you can refer to. There are various styles in which you can present your matrimonial biodata.

Matrimonial Biodata

Personal Information Name:(complete name including, your first name, middle name, and last name) Age:(write completed years) Sex: Height: Weight: Complexion: Date of Birth: Place of Birth: Religion: Marital Status: (never married, divorced, etc,) Children: (from the first marriage or adopted if any) Educational Qualification: Hobbies: Habits: Professional Information Job Status: (working, unemployed, searching, or student) Job Description: (government job, private company, proprietor, or business) Job Profile: (your position in the office) Job Timings: (mention working hours here and shifts, such as night shift etc.,) Annual Income: Name of the Company: Family Details Father's Name: (mention if he is alive or no more) Qualification: Job Description: Mother's Name: (mention if he is alive or no more) Qualification: Job Description: (also mention if your parents separated and/or remarried) Brother's or/and Sister's Name: Qualification: Job Description: (also mention if married, unmarried, divorced and/or remarried) Family Structure: (nuclear, joint) Number of members in the family: (also mention if the maid servant is available or not) Horoscope Details (if you are an Indian or intend to marry an Indian who believes in horoscopes or if you believe in horoscope) Rashi: Gotra: Kul-devata: Nad: Kul Caste: Sub Caste: Patrika: Contact Details Address: Permanent Address: Phone No: Mobile No: E-mail Id: Fax No:

With this biodata, a recent photograph of yours is mandatory. After going through your biodata, interested people will contact you. In case of online portals, the prospective groom or prospective bride would contact you. You can also chat online if you like each other and can meet later whenever you find it comfortable.

A matrimonial biodata helps people to get an overview of the other person and a rough idea of whether the person is compatible with him/her. So, if you too want to settle down, upload your profile too. Hope you find your soulmate soon!! 

 

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How To Choose Perfect Life Partner

Choosing your life partner is one of the most important decisions you make in your life. Your future entirely lies on the threshold of the choice you make.Would you settle for someone who does not fulfill your desires, because you think that your desires are way too specific? Worst - would you leave it to chance? Talking about choosing your life partner, the first thing would be on what basis would you make the choice. Remember, whatever be your choice, the person should be one with whom you can continue to grow, laugh, be surprised, share your interests and ideas year after year, without getting bored. Choose a person who is compatible with you and makes you feel loved and cared for. In the following lines, we have provided tips on how to choose your life partner.

Choosing Your Life Partner

Determine Your Needs

Before choosing your life partner, you need to determine your needs. You need to find out what attributes you are looking for in your life partner. Pen down a wish list of all the things you are looking for - the most important ones as well as the seemingly unimportant ones. Right from physical looks, career, financial status to moral values, etiquettes and spiritual beliefs, make a list that covers all the sectors. This way you can limit your choice. For instance, if you are certain that your would-be should be a businessman / homemaker; your options would then be limited, as those who are in a job can be ignored.

Analyze Past Relationship

Many-a-times we are bombarded with the question - What did you learn from your past relationships? Though it might be embarrassing or hurting, the question is an important one to consider before choosing your life partner. Find out what was it that attracted you to your ex? Was it his/her smartness and looks? Was it his/her care and affection? Was it his/her financial status? You should also find out what went wrong in the once-so-rosy affair. This would help you find out your needs, which he/she could not fulfill.

Analyze People You Admire

Evaluating people you admire would also be a good option to consider before selecting your Mr. or Ms. Right. This would help you understand qualities that are important for you in life. You need to find out what is that you admire in them. Is it his/her sense of humor? Is he/she extremely loyal and trustworthy? Is it his/her family background?  By determining the characteristics of the person you admire, you are unknowingly or knowingly setting the mark for your ideal mate.

Personal Characteristics & Values

Though one of the most ignored sectors, determining personal characteristics and values is extremely vital. Remember, personal character defines the future of a person. For instance, if he/she is a hardworking and persistent person, he/she is likely to be financially well off in future. A person with strong moral values is likely to be spiritual. Identify the characteristic that you are looking for in your ideal mate. Right from compassion, affection, determination, honesty to sexuality, self-discipline, vivaciousness intelligence and wit, there are a lot of things you need to consider. If you are sociable, ideally your partner should be one who loves talking or making friends.

Take Time

Limiting yourself to a specific date or a scheduled time for finding the right partner is an unreasonable demand. Remember, it a matter of your life and your future is based on your choice. One wrong decision and you would be regretting and repenting all your life. These things are sensitive and can take from a few days to several months. Make sure you give in all the time that you want, before pronouncing the judgment.

Trust Your Choice

Remember, a person should dictate his/her needs and wants and not the other way round. Do not think about what you 'should' want. Instead, focus on what you want and desire in life. Do not be concerned about whether your desires and needs are right or shallow or unpopular. Keep in mind, no two persons can have the same needs or wants. Once you have made a choice, trust it and give in your 100% in the relationship! Good luck!

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